My first experience of the death of a loved one…
Today, I received news about the death of a loved one. One who was dear to me, seen me grow up after all these years. From a small baby still vulnerable to the outside world, to now a fully grown teenager who can take care of his mother and family. A person who was always there when I needed him. Always ready to give advice, tell me how to grow into a respectable young man.
This extraordinary man, is my Grandfather.
My Grandfather passed away last week. I received news about it today after dinner. I overlooked it first, when a family friend came with my cousin. My cousin called me into my room along with my little sister to explain the situation. At first, I hadn’t felt anything when those blunt words pierced through my ears. I forever will never forget that moment. I was a bit shocked. She repeated it several times. My little sister was confused.
He was my Grandfather, but however living in an international country, we hadn’t known what was going on. My mum was informed. I felt a chill as I heard my mum give a shriek on hearing the same, chilling words.
We knew, everyone knew, that death is inevitable. No one can cheat death, for it is intertwined with fate, which is nothing in the grasp of man. Everyone will experience a moment like this in their lifetime, for where there is happiness, there is always sorrow.
…
Some say, that people will know that they are about to leave. I always thought this was untrue. However, upon thinking over crying until my eyes were puffed as ever as can be, there was one thing that was in my mind. At the airport when we were waiting for their airplane, my Grandfather reached for my face, and felt it like feeling cotton or silk. He handling my face so roughly, he was not getting enough. He slipped in a line that is still in my head now as I am writing this entry.
Let Grandfather feel your face for the last time
At first, I laughed it off as a joke, and told him,
Don’t worry. You will live strong, and I am sure I will see you again,
Yet now I regret deeply for saying that. For I now realise I was being selfish, and was not in reality. I was holding onto others and wasn’t giving them freedom. I wanted them to live forever.
I know I have been punished for this. I totally acknowledge this. But everytime I think about that moment it brings tears in my eyes. I’m currently crying as I am typing this entry.
The sheer thought of thinking that as of now, he will not be part of my life sends me off into a spiral-less journey in sadness. Now, I can only sit here and remember the good moments we have had together. Even the bad moments are now good moments. For every moment of him is good. I am feeling sadness and happiness at the same time. I am feeling sadness that he has left my life, but happy at the same time for him, for his soul would be able to leave his limiting body now and find those who he has missed during his long life.
This was the first time I had experienced the death of a loved one. For those who have not experienced death of someone yet that you hold dear, I cannot stress this enough. SPEND TIME WITH THEM. It’s cliche’ed, but I cannot stress this enough. As I was foolish enough to ignore this. I was arrogant and stupid. All I can do now is regret myself but yet everyone has to move on.
As the old saying goes:
Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone…
Song? Cliche? If you think this is wrong, get real.
After I finish writing this blog, I am going to cheer up my mother, who is the most affected by this tradegy.
As what’s happened has happened. But he will forever live in the hearts for those who love him. He lives on. He is a part of everything I do. NO. HE HAS NOT LEFT ME OR MY FAMILY.
Please as friends send me a comment or an email. I would greatly appreciate it.
—-
My Grandfather died on the 3rd October 2007, at the age of 79. He was diagnosed with Cancer.
Rest in Peace. You will forever live in the hearts of me and everyone you know. For I wish I could thank you again for you have made me the person I am today. 
I’m sorry to hear that… R.I.P. I hope you get through this sad time. I have twice, I know how it feels
Read the whole story, that day is gonna come for me to to loose my grandfather. I’m regulairly spending time with both grandparents just to enjoy the time I can still spend with them.
RIP your grandfater and stay strong
Death isn’t the end, its simply changing from the physical to the metaphysical.
would your grandad want you to be sad? to mourn his death?
he’d want you to get your life on track and live a good life in his memory.
Just my thoughts
Sad to hear, my condolences to you and your family.
Hang in there.
-Frox
Thanks guys. Really meant a lot to hear such kind words. I’m touched at your reponses
Sorry to hear that, condololences. I also remember the time when my parents told me that my grandfather passed away.
R.I.P!
RIP
Condolence to you and ur family